FAWM 2015: Best Liner Notes

Here’s a few of the funniest liner notes from my fellow FAWMers – just for fun!


  • I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention
  • Black coffee, affordable beer, Elliott Smith
  • The sweet harmony of the energy that flows through all living beings. Also, “Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 37.”
  • Too many fawmers to mention, punctuation, my dad, and you, you eye-contact-avoidant son-of-a-gun
  • Leonard Hopskotch, Denzil Fromage, Dr Horsehammer and Frankie Glockensphere
  • Amateur musicians on YouTube. They pick up their guitar, look you in the eye, play their heart out for you, then casually lean forward and turn off the camera. They do all that for you? They don’t even know you! They rock!!

Biographical Notes

  • I use my guitar as an aerial and summon the evil spirits with it
  • Former xylophonist with Tex Ovary And The Animators who set Paris alight in the late 90s (and received appropriate jail time for doing so)
  • 1959 first cry, 1973 first kiss, 1978 first gig, 1990 first acting, 1992 first magic, 1993 first tour, 2000 first album, 2009 last marriage, 2010 first FAWM, 2011 last divorce, 2012 first novel, 2013 last man standing, 2014 last year (so far)
  • Alllooo! My name is @Errol! I’m lactose intolerant. I have a webcomic too
  • I am a happy person honest, but put a guitar in my hands and it seems to open up a musical portal to misery

Call To Arms

  • Fire up the tea machine
  • It’s 2015. Let’s pretend we know what we’re doing

Song Notes (aka “Parade of Caveats”)

  • Apologies for the ridiculous title; it happened and I couldn’t make it unhappen
  • I have a crush on A7
  • Urgh. I am SO done with being serious. You have been warned
  • My thought pattern went something like Devil’s Highway > Dante’s Inferno > 7 deadly sins > ….cheesecake
  • You never held it at the right angle
See Also - 

Best Titles In FAWM 2015

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I’m working on a little side project writing some Liverpool/Football related chants/songs. I’ve decide to do this because

  • Fans are singing less at matches
  • The standard of writing is generally poor (reminds me of my old job as a worship leader!)
  • It might be fun

I’m gonna limit myself to 1 hour to recording each song and 1 hour to produce a youtube vid.

Here’s the first one

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Best Titles In FAWM 2015

Naming a song is an art in itself. Here’s my favourite attention grabbing, funny or profound titles from this year’s February Album Writing Month

(Don’t Want To Be (Your)) Marginalia – keithbarrette
Adventure Next, Coffee First – dashboardchicken
Aurora Boring Alice – pugetive
Bacon Monkey – stevenwesleyguiles
Burning Down The Outhouse – pfoo
Clutter, or, A Spirited Defence of the Curatorial Disposition
 – hamiltonpoolhall
Did You Google It? – jodv
Donald Duck And His 4k Ton Death Machine – defaultdave
Drinking About You – melissaschiller
Fermata Over a Whole Rest as a Pun – nuclearbubblewrap
Friday Night Shirt – jamesstaubes
I Don’t Remember Asking You A Goddamn Thing – jodv
I Gotta Make This Belly Disappear – spunky4455
I Should’ve Hoarded You (For the Leaner Times) – danieljacob
I Thought I Got All The Bad Parts Out – beautyspot
I’m Really More Of A Cat Person – adnama17
I’m Sorry That I Killed You In A Dream – vomvorton
I’m The Only Girl Left In Salt Lake City – adforperu
If Poop Could Crap – robynmackenzie
If This Is The Solution, I’d Like To Have My Problem Back – Ampersandman
If You Paid Attention I’d At Least Be Getting Paid Something
- wen
Jesus F**k It’s Like 8 In The Frickle-Fracking Morning
 – wen
Keep Dancing and Ignore the Aliens – pfoo
Lovely Lily Ladies Ululating On The Landing – toms
Maximally Random 4/2 – willoww
Micro Management Man – zecoop and seemanski
Monster Truck Animal – rodeoboats
Mr. Resistible – stephenwordsmith
Narcoleptic Booty Caper – bigmart
Nipples – mattgriffo
Old Black Pickle Balls Revisited – ieatpants
Positive Tweets – katoninetails
Put Some Pants on Your Jesus
- yellowgrassband
Put the Dishwasher On – jaegerin
Running From The Too Much Air – slimeminister
Seriously, Cat, You Couldn’t Leave That Alone For One Second?
- robynmackenzie
She Came From Away – robinh
Someone Please Send Me A Hurdy-Gurdy – jamesrdevries
Space Boob Yoga Music – santadharma
Spiteful Bloodyminded (That’ll Show ‘Em) – bittersweetdb
Sporting My Travelling Moustache – lightninglucas
Sweet Flower You Don’t Open Easily – brokentooth
The Fault in Our Death Stars – nuclearbubblewrap
The Furious Engines of Heaven – sapient
There Is No Title, But I Guess That’s Probably Going To Be The Title – wen
There’s A Peanut In My Food – drivelmonk
This Is The End, or A Clock That Goes To Eleven Is A Sh***y Clock, But Sometimes That’s What You Get – wen
This Song Is Going Where The Sun Don’t Shine – roelvanveldt
Too Far Gone To Go Anywhere – matthew62
Viking Spelunking Fiasco – headfirstonly
We Love Our Monsters – Susyblue
We Shouldn’t Care About The Colour of His Hair or The Length of His Skin – tinam
Whatdoyoumeanyoudontwanttohavesexwithme – chrishope
When the Sun Finally Warms My Face I’ll Be Free – stevenwesleyguiles
Wow, Look At That Creepy Guy With A Hook Over There. Let’s Split Up Or Go To The Basement Or Undress – zecoop
Yelling Drunk At A Rug On The Wall – deerleader
You And Your Beliefs – popmythology
You Got Butter in Your Car – drivelmonk
You Have Nice Eye Muscles – expendablefriend

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FAWM 15 (pt.4) Experiments – Failed And Otherwise

For the past few years I’ve been toying with getting additive structures into pop songs. You can hear that in different ways in DifferentFresh MeatTear This Temple Down and Vengeance Is MineI Want You To Try Telling Me Who Lied When We Said I Still Want You (Version 1) was an attempt to add a word at a time to a phrase and it was a failure to be honest. In fact I wrote Polishing A Turd about this very song! I Want You To Try Telling Me Who Lied When We Said “I Want You” (Version 2) took the same lyrics but laid them out in a different way and though the track is also lame I did get an insight with how I harmonised the key phrase (I Want You) so it stands out each time.

I tried to write a track based on Sophie Lynette‘s beguiling Koto instrumental Immigrant Season, but had to admit defeat because the original wasn’t recorded to a click and wasn’t in concert pitch which made editing impossible. I recited my old ‘poem’ The Glass Is Half Empty over the top just to get closure as the ‘unfinishedness’ was preventing me moving on. That added another layer of failure as I realised those lyrics were never going to go anywhere either.

Steven Wesley Guiles has a FAWM tradition of writing a Valentine’s Day song for his wife and I’ve tried to follow his example. I wrote The Prettiest Girl (NSFW) almost as an act of rebellion against that and Christine Sistine is based on a 30 year old poem. Both pleasant FAILS really. I blame the ukelele.

Pretty much on the final day of FAWM I tried my first skirmish. This is when someone posts a title at a prearranged time and everyone taking part has 1 hour to write and record a song. I, Too, Need Love was taking from the autobiography of Leonard Nimoy. It’s a fine if derivative Beatles/Harrison style track.

I was attracted to Zecoop‘s instrumental by the hilarious title Wow, Look At That Creepy Guy With A Hook Over There. Let’s Split Up Or Go To The Basement Or Undress I figured I could do some comedy dialogue over it. The hard part was not second guessing or making a meal of it. I put a cardboard box over the mic to get the effect of ‘mom’ being outside the door. Wouldn’t you know – I’ve had lots of positive feedback about this track. SUCCESS definitely.

In conclusion: no song is a true failure – the very act of finishing makes you a better songwriter for next time, but I learned another trick for additive lyrics, have a potential collaborator on Koto for next years FAWM, relearned that writing ultra fast can shake good ideas out and got a great (if weird) spoken word piece out there.

FAWM produced lots of good work and great experiences of collaboration this year. I’d highly recommend it.

FAWM 15 (pt.1) post here
FAWM 15 (pt.2) post here
FAWM 15 (pt.3) post here

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FAWM 15 (pt.3) More Co-Writes

As well as all the cool song I collaborated on with Liz Frencham I co-wrote a bunch of stuff with others. Here’s the more normal stuff

If You Screw Up – I sent a very slender lyrical premise to the mysterious Hamilton Poolhall (Texas) and he came back with this incredible bittersweet ballad. I tidied up a few lines and it was done. I said on the fawm site “Hamilton was looking in my fridge and found a small tupperware container of leftover lyrics and he cooked up this magnificent feast – fit for a king! I wish I could play guitar like this, and so do you”.

Daniel Jacob Horine (California) did pretty much the same thing with Whose Side Are You On Jesus? Though he got a whole chorus and part of a bridge from me rather than just lyrics but like Hamilton he took it in a whole new direction and created a cool fully realised demo.

Hug Me, Drug Me  with Ben Purscell (Pennsylvania) and A Little Spillage with Stephen Wordsmith (New Zealand via France) were both lyrics that I found late in FAWM and feverishly set them to music. Both were being written as I recorded them. Everything on HMDM is first take, which accounts for the fact that there a D major chord in the first chorus which never appears again. And I only decided to sing in a cockney accent halfway through recording A Little Spillage. Very rough, but fun to do and may have a life post-fawm.

Christ Will Come Again was a co-write with Steven Wesley Guiles (California). The initial chorus was mine then we went back and forth, Steven throwing in ideas and being a sounding board. After the demo was posted other FAWMers (Petra Cook, Michael Karns, Izaak Alexander, Jon Nelson) came forward to add vocals and other instruments.

Coming Soon: FAWM Experiments – Failed And Otherwise

FAWM 15 (pt.1) post here
FAWM 15 (pt.2) post here

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