The Eglon Song


The King is on the toilet…
Singlong Assasination Song For Kids Vol. 2
Downloads    mp3 acoustic demo     Chords (pdf)     Lyrics (pdf)     Behind The Song

Back in the day when the Bible was thin
Israel was conquered by a heavyweight King
So they prayed for a saviour who was able to fight
Big-bellied Eglon the Moabite.

Well, Ehud was the man God chose
He made a little sword & hid it in his clothes
Said “King I got a message to whisper to you”
Then in went the sword & out came the poo because he…

Stabbed him in the belly & his poo came out
Stabbed him in the belly & his poo came out
Stabbed him in the belly & his poo came out
Squishy, squashy poo.

Ehud’s sword stuck in his guts
But the kings’ flabby belly just covered it up
He shut the doors & then he ran back home
Before anyone saw what he’d done.

The servants said “phew, what’s that stink?
The king is on the toilet that’s what I think.”
But when they opened up the door
There lay Eglon dead on the floor because he…

Stabbed him in the belly & his poo came out….

Ehud blew the trumpet & he said “it’s war!”
And the Moabites ran as people grabbed their swords
And as they fought they all sang this song,
“Do you want to know what Ehud did to King Eglon?
I’ll tell you, he…”

Stabbed him in the belly & his poo came out…

Well the flabby baddie didn’t get a chance to shout
‘Cos he stabbed him in the belly & his poo came out
And if you’re wondering what this song is really all about…
It’s squishy, squashy, (give you hands a washy!)
Squishy, squashy poo.

Judges 3:12-30 (ESV) © Matt Blick Grace Church Nottingham 2005.

FREE downloads

mp3 acoustic demo
Chord sheet
Lyric sheet


An Infant In The Cradle “The Eglon Song”
Count It All Joy “King Eglon hijacks the poop language patrol”
A Surprising Light “Enjoy.Laugh.”
Eglon “Disgraceful song about King Eglon”
Beat The Drum “Ehud & Eglon…A song of God’s deliverance & errrr poo”
A Fitting Name “The Ehud & Eglon song”
An Infant In The Cradle “The EglonSong LIVE”

What do you mean you’d prefer some more ‘normal’ songs? Oh, OK…

Great High Priest
Song Of The Redeemed
The Weight Of Glory


About mattblick

Songwriter & Musical Educator from Nottingham, UK. New album Fifty Five Stories Down is out now. Blogging through the entire Beatles catalogue at Beatles Songwriting Academy.
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15 Responses to The Eglon Song

  1. Austin Foote says:

    This looks great, but I can't get the mp3 link to work. hilarious lyrics though.

  2. Matt Blick says:

    Sorry Austin

    Fixed the link now

    thanks for the heads up.

  3. Phil I says:

    That has to rank as one of the greatest songs of all time: well written, true to the story and all about defecation!

  4. philip says:

    …not much to say about this song…it says it all

  5. Mark Heath says:

    brilliant. we need more scripture stories set to song. I hope to hear this sung in churches across the nation.

  6. William says:

    fantastic! I'm still laughing…

  7. Eglon says:

    This outrageous slur has just been brought to my attention. You need a slap.

  8. Dave N says:

    My Hebrew professor in seminary, as he explained this story, argued from archeological findings of similar palaces that the "porch" (ESV) of v. 23 should be translated "latrine." In other words, to make his escape, Ehud locked the doors of the room and jumped down the poop chute. I can only hope that this is true, because if it is, that would be awesome.

  9. Matt Blick says:

    Dave that is just icing on the cake (no, wait, that's conjuring up the wrong mental images!)

    It's a good thing I hadn't heard this when I wrote the song , otherwise it might have been even more graphic!

  10. Nato says:

    hahaha! that's all i can say!

  11. Anonymous says:

    Not exactly Dove Award material. But it definitely deserves to get the bird of some kind. How about a turkey?

  12. Matt Blick says:

    @Anonymous – Thanks! (I think?)

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