Maybe Your God’s On The Toilet

Maybe Your God’s On The Toilet [2011] Humour 
Some might say that sarcasm ain’t the language of Zion
Interfaith conference on Mount Carmel
Downloads     mp3     Chords (pdf)     Lyrics (pdf)

We use different paths to climb the same mountain
So let’s build a safe place to explore the terrain
We’re all part of ancient faith communities
There may be common ground that we can embrace
No one person has all the answers
So let’s try to find the things that unite
I hope that you’ll be part of the conversation
I’ll share my feelings first if you like

Maybe your god’s on the toilet
Maybe he can’t get to the phone
maybe the man with the plan, the whole world in his hands
Sits on a porcelain throne
Maybe he’s making a pit stop
Loosing a couple of pounds
Either way he’s not home so leave your prayer at the tone
Perhaps he’ll answer you when he comes out

I hope I haven’t somehow offended you
I hope I haven’t said something wrong
Because you practice human sacrifice
And you outnumber me four hundred to one
You fundamentalists don’t think humour
Has a place within religious debate
But I’m just trying to facilitate a paradigm shift
So lighten up you prophets of Baal

Maybe your god’s on the toilet
Doing a poop or a pee
Is he still in control when he’s sat on the bowl
And he’s bombing the porcelain sea?
Maybe he’s mixing some concrete
Maybe he’s moving some earth
He’s dropping some logs, seeing a man ’bout a dog
So perhaps we should just call off the search

Some might say that sarcasm ain’t the language of Zion
And I should wash my potty mouth out when I’m through
But ask brother James, maybe he can explain
I’m a man, just a man, just like you

Maybe your god’s on the toilet
Trying to do number two
Grow a tail, hang a rat, park a coil, send a fax
Drop the kids off at the pool
Maybe he’s blasting a dookie
Punching a growler somewhere
He’s taking a slam, he’s pinching a yam
But it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care

Maybe he’s laying some wolf bait
Maybe he’s laying a brick
He’s going boom boom in the little boys room
He’ll come out when he’s launched the big ship
Maybe your god’s on the toilet
But I’m starting to entertain doubts
So I guess I’ll just go ‘cos your god’s a no-show
And if he’s in there then he’s not coming out.

You might also enjoy The Eglon Song
Other free songs by Matt Blick

About mattblick

Songwriter/Singer from Nottingham, UK. My 2nd EP, Everything In The World Is Fighting Everything In The Sky, is out now. I'm blogging (& podcasting) through the entire Beatles catalogue at Beatles Songwriting Academy. In my spare time I wish I had some spare time.
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3 Responses to Maybe Your God’s On The Toilet

  1. Mat says:

    Ooooh – One to rival the Eglon song!

    I love this!!

  2. Phil I says:

    Great work!

    Track two for the "Biblical faeces" EP! I'm looking forward to the "Ezekiel and the Cow-dung-bread" B-side.

  3. Matt Blick says:

    Not another one! Sheesh, my songwriting career is going down the pan!

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